“A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh.” — Conan O’Brien
“In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic? Do tall people burn slower?” — Warren Hutcherson
“If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.” — Dick Cavett
“I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight.” — Rita Rudner
“Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography.” — Paul Rodriguez
“When you look at Prince Charles, don’t you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?” — Robin Williams
If the president of the USA has to be a natural-born citizen, could a test-tube baby ever be president? — Stephen Wright