Signs You Are “Webbed Out” From Using The Web:
– Your opening line is, “So what’s your home page address?”
– Your best friend is someone you’ve never met.
– You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see “Enhanced for IE 5.5” on the clouds.
– You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed when you encounter a Web page with no links.
– You feel driven to consult the “Cool Page of the Day” on your wedding day.
– You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening toward a flimsy guardrail that separates you from the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death. You frantically search for the “Back” button.
– You visit “The Really Big Button that doesn’t do Anything” again and again and again.
– Your dog has his own Web page. So does your goldfish.
– When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.
– You find yourself typing “com” after every period when using a word processor.
– You turn off your modem and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
– You start introducing yourself as “Jon at I-I Net dot com.”
– Your wife drapes a blond wig over your monitor to remind you of what she looks like.
– All of your friends have an @ in their names.
– You can’t call your mother… she doesn’t have a modem.
– Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
– You laugh at people with 2400 baud modems.
– You move into a new house and decide to Netscape before you landscape.
– You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
– You tell the cab driver you live at http://123.elm.street/house/bluetrim.html.
– Your spouse makes a new rule: “The computer cannot come to bed.”
– You ask a plumber how much it would cost to replace the chair in front of your computer with a commode.
– You start tilting your head sideways to smile. :^)
– You turn on your computer and turn off your spouse.
– Your spouse says communication is important in a marriage… so you buy another computer and install a second phone line so the two of you can chat.
– You begin to wonder how on earth your service provider is allowed to call 200 hours per month “