“Slowly Written, Fast Humor: A Letter from Ma”

Dear Son,

I’m writing this slowly because I know you can’t read fast. Your pop read that all accidents happen within 20 miles of home, so we moved. Can’t send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

That coat you wanted, Aunt Billy-Mae said it was too heavy with those buttons, so we took them off and put them in the pockets.

Your sister had a baby yesterday morning. Don’t know if it’s a boy or girl, so don’t know if you’re an aunt or uncle.

Three of your friends went off the bridge last week. One was driving, the other two were in the back. The driver lived; he rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other two drowned; they couldn’t get the tailgate down.

Please write back. If you don’t get this letter, let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma