“Alabama Gorilla Rescue: A Wild Solution”

One day in the great state of Alabama, a man walks outside and hears a strange noise coming from one of his trees. He proceeds to walk over to his tree and looks up to find the source of this noise. What he finds is a large gorilla moving around in the top of his tree, trying to get comfortable. The man stops and thinks to himself, “How on earth am I going to get this gorilla out of my tree? There aren’t any gorilla catchers in Alabama, are there?”

The man walks inside his house and gets his phone book, looking in the animal control section. Lo and behold, there actually is a gorilla catcher listed. So, the man picks up the phone and calls the number. He reaches the gorilla catcher who says that he’ll be there in ten minutes.

The gorilla catcher shows up in a big truck with a tool box in the back, a very large dog sitting on top of the tool box, and a very large cage in the back of the tool box. The gorilla catcher gets out of his truck, walks up to the man, and shakes hands with him. The man then shows the gorilla catcher the tree and points up at the gorilla.

After looking at the gorilla for a minute, the gorilla catcher walks back over to his truck, gets old Clyde off the tool box, grabs a gun, and walks back over to the tree, placing the gun next to old Clyde. The gorilla catcher looks over at the man and says, “Here’s the plan. I’m gonna climb this tree and knock the gorilla out. When the gorilla hits the ground, old Clyde here’s gonna bite him in the nuts and hold on until I can get out of the tree and put the gorilla in the cage. Any questions?”

The man can’t think of any, so the gorilla catcher starts making his way up the tree. When the catcher gets almost halfway up the tree, the man notices the shotgun next to old Clyde. He quickly calls up to the gorilla catcher and says, “Hey, what’s the gun for?”

The gorilla catcher replies, “Oh, that’s in case the gorilla knocks me out of the tree. I want you to shoot old Clyde before I hit the ground.”