“Pill Popping Pup Pursuit”

An exhausted-looking blonde dragged herself into the doctor’s office. “Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can’t get a wink of sleep.” “I have good news for you,” the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. “Here are some new sleeping pills … Read more

“Blonde’s Safety First Strategy”

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead run to the top of a burning building. Below, a few firefighters are holding a blanket, telling the redhead to jump. When the redhead jumps, the firefighters snatch the blanket away, and she hits the concrete. When the firefighters ask the brunette to jump, she jumps, and again … Read more

“Heavenly Stand-Up: Blondes and Jokes”

There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette on the stairway to heaven. God says, “There are 3,000 steps and I’ll tell you a joke on each 1,000th step you reach. If you laugh, you go to hell.” So they start walking and reach the first 1,000th step. God tells a joke, the brunette … Read more

“Portrait of a Deal: The Bare Truth About Socks”

Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he’d been recommended to paint him in the nude. “No,” the talented blonde artist said. “I don’t do that sort of thing.” “But what if I double your fee?” he pleaded. “Nope, sorry. Won’t do it.” “How about I … Read more

“Blonde Ironing Mishap: The Jerk Who Called Back”

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears, and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.” “Oh dear!” the … Read more

“Blonde Painting Mishap: The Price of a Porch”

One day, a blonde comes out of the tanning salon. She wants to make some money, so she goes to one of the rich neighborhoods. She rings the doorbell and says, “Hi, is there anything I could do for your house or you?” The man thinks and says, “Sure, you can paint my porch. You … Read more

“Bar Joke: Decoding Drink Orders”

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde walk into a bar. For the sake of brevity, each one orders her drink with an abbreviated code word. The brunette walks up to the bartender and says, “Hey, give me an ML.” The bartender nods his head and hands her a Miller Lite. Following her, the redhead … Read more

“Blonde Flight Attendant’s Room Dilemma”

An airline captain was helping a new blonde flight attendant prepare for her first overnight trip. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new … Read more