admin FROM: Pat Smith, Human Resources Director TO: Everyone RE: Christmas Party DATE: December 1 I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the banquet room at Luigi’s Open Pit Barbecue. No-host bar, but plenty of eggnog! We’ll have a small band playing traditional … Read more
Effective immediately, the company is adopting Fridays as Casual Day so that employees may express their diversity. Spandex and leather micro-miniskirts are not appropriate attire for Casual Day. Neither are string ties, rodeo belt buckles, or moccasins. Casual Day refers to dress only, not attitude. When planning Friday’s wardrobe, remember image is a key to … Read more
Have you ever worked in an office where someone insisted upon listening to their voicemail using the speakerphone (at full volume, naturally)? It can really begin to bother you after a while. I found a fairly easy fix for that, though. I have my wife call his desk when he’s not there and leave a … Read more
Three generals, one from the Army, one from the Air Force, and the third from the Marine Corps, were having a debate about whose soldiers were the bravest. To prove his point, the Air Force general calls over an airman: “Airman! Climb that flagpole, and once you are at the top, sing ‘Wild Blue Yonder’, … Read more
A schoolteacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking … Read more
A first-grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, “Johnny, what is your problem?” Johnny answered, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister is in the third grade, and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade too!” The teacher had had … Read more
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When I first started college, the Dean came in and said, “Good Morning” to all of us. When we echoed back to him, he responded, “Ah, you’re Freshmen.” He explained, “When you walk in and say good morning, and they say good morning back, it’s Freshmen. When they put their newspapers down and open their … Read more
One of the fringe benefits of being an English or History teacher is receiving the occasional jewel of a student blooper in an essay. I have pasted together the following “history” of the world from certifiably genuine student bloopers collected by teachers throughout the United States, from eighth grade through college level. Read carefully, and … Read more
President George W. Bush is visiting an elementary school today and he visits one of the 4th-grade classes. They are in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asks the President if he would like to lead the class in the discussion of the word “tragedy.” So the President … Read more