admin My appetite is my shepherd; I always want. It maketh me sit down and stuff myself. It leadeth me to my refrigerator repeatedly, Sometimes during the night. It leadeth me in the path of Burger King for a Whopper. It destroyeth my shape. Yea, though I knoweth I gaineth, I will not stop eating, For … Read more
A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help but wonder why they are chanting “Thirteen!” over and over. Could it be that they … Read more
A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman … Read more
A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass-enclosed room where they could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced, “In this room, researchers are actively searching for a cure for cancer.” She stopped … Read more
Three nurses went to heaven and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates. The first nurse said, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter … Read more
The Lord is my external-internal integrative mechanism; I shall not be deprived of gratification for my viscerogenic hungers or my need dispositions. He motivates me to orient myself toward a non-social object with affective significance. He positions me in a non-decisional situation. He maximizes my adjustment. Although I entertain masochistic and self-destructive id impulses, I … Read more
A couple just started their Lamaze class, and they were given an activity requiring the husband to wear a bag of sand to give him an idea of what it feels like to be pregnant. The husband stood up and shrugged, saying, “This doesn’t feel so bad.” The Lamaze instructor then dropped a pen and … Read more
“Eighty-four, because at that age, you don’t have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom.” (Judy, 8) “Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.” (Tom, 5) WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?? “On the first date, they just tell … Read more
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later…. “Da-ad….” “What?” “I’m thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?” “No. You had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later… “Da-aaaad…..” “WHAT?” “I’m THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??” “I told you NO! If you ask again, I’ll … Read more
A weary mother returned from the store, lugging groceries through the kitchen door. Awaiting her arrival was her 8-year-old son, anxious to relate what his younger brother had done. “While I was out playing and Dad was on a call, T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall! It’s on the new paper you … Read more