On the local rock radio station, the DJ was reading out some requests. “This is a special birthday dedication to Sarah who’s one hundred and eleven!” Puzzled by how someone could be that old and listening to rock music, he re-read the message on the sheet of paper in front of him and then said, … Read more
A dog walks into an employment agency and says, “I’d like to get a job, please.” The guy at the employment agency says, “Wow, you could easily get a job at the circus with your talents.” The dog replies, “What would the circus want with a plumber?”
An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Oh, oh!” The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well,” said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?” “No,” replied the man. “Do you drink in excess?” … Read more
A little boy came down to breakfast. Since they lived on a farm, his mother asked if he had done his chores. “Not yet,” said the little boy. His mother tells him he can’t have any breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he’s a little upset, so he goes to feed the chickens, and … Read more
A young girl is wandering through a park in the pouring rain when she comes across three dogs. Being a bit of an animal lover, she approaches them, bends down, and starts to stroke one of them. “Ah, you’re lovely, aren’t you,” she says to the first dog. “What’s your name then?” To her surprise, … Read more
There was this bloke who had a dog which he was attempting to train, but alas had very little success. He was on the verge of despair when he happened across a very charismatic American evangelist. He unburdened his soul to the American, who promptly informed him to leave the dog with him, and he … Read more
On her way to work, a lady passed a new pet shop. She had a few minutes to spare, so she walked into the store and took a look around. Near the store window, she saw a cage with a beautiful red parrot in it. She admired him for a few minutes, when the parrot … Read more
Bob was in love with Nancy, the beautiful young woman across the street. Unfortunately, Bob had a speech impediment and she wouldn’t marry him because he talked funny. One day he read about a school on the other side of the country that might be able to help him overcome his handicap. So he enrolled … Read more
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, “You can’t bring that dog in here.” “You don’t understand,” says the man. “This is no regular dog, he can talk.” “Listen, pal,” says the bartender. “If that dog can talk, I’ll give you a hundred bucks.” The man puts the dog on … Read more
About a decade ago, the American government realized that they were at risk of being surpassed by other countries in the automotive sector if they didn’t collaborate. They decided to form a council to conduct research. The group visited a Japanese car factory and noticed something peculiar – there were numerous cats wandering around the … Read more