After a long day at the office, Chris came home one day to find his dog with the neighbor’s pet rabbit in his mouth. The rabbit was obviously dead. Chris panicked! “If my neighbors find out my dog killed their bunny, they’ll hate me forever,” he thought. So he took the dirty, chewed-up rabbit into … Read more
Mrs. Biddle was walking down the street one day carrying a small box with holes punched in the top. “What’s in that box?” Mrs. Riddle asked. “A cat,” Mrs. Biddle answered. “What for?” “I’ve been dreaming about mice at night, and I’m scared of mice. The cat is to catch them.” “But the mice you … Read more
This guy buys a parrot. Every morning he stands in front of the cage and asks in a pleasant voice, “Can you talk?” This goes on for weeks with absolutely no response from the bird. Finally one morning, totally fed up, he shouts, “CAN YOU TALK, YOU STUPID CREATURE? CAN YOU TALK?” The bird looks … Read more
A man running a little behind schedule arrives at a picture theatre, goes in to watch the movie that has already started, and as his eyes adjust to the darkness, he is surprised to see a dog sitting beside its master in the row ahead, intently watching the movie. It even seemed to be enjoying … Read more
Four men were bragging about how smart their dogs are. The first man was an Engineer, the second was an Accountant, the third was a Chemist, and the fourth man was a Government Worker. To show off, the Engineer called to his dog. “T-Square, do your stuff.” T-Square trotted over to a desk, took out … Read more
A penguin is driving through Arizona on a hot summer’s day when he notices his oil light is on. He gets out of the car and, sure enough, it’s leaking oil all over the road. The penguin drives around the corner to a service station and asks the mechanic to take a look at it. … Read more
A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store and he does a double take. He recognizes that the saucer is extremely old and very valuable, so he walks casually into the store and offers to buy the … Read more
On reaching his plane seat, a man is surprised to see a parrot strapped in next to him. He asks the stewardess for a coffee, whereupon the parrot squawks, “And get me a whisky, you cow!” The stewardess, flustered, brings back a whisky for the parrot and forgets the coffee. When this omission is pointed … Read more
A pair of birds were sitting on a branch of a tree when they saw a turtle run past them, jump off the branch, and flap his arms as hard as he can. He falls to the ground. The poor turtle repeats this process numerous times, and then one bird says to the other, “Dear, … Read more