A large two-engine train was crossing America. After they had gone some distance, one of the engines broke down. “No problem,” the engineer thought, and carried on at half-power. Further on down the line, the other engine broke down, and the train came to a standstill. The engineer decided he should inform the passengers about … Read more
Two mathematicians were traveling in an airplane from LA to New York. About an hour into the flight, the pilot announced that they had lost an engine, but not to worry, there were three left. However, instead of 5 hours, it would take 7 hours to get to New York. A little later, the pilot … Read more
While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. “Good lord!” he screamed, “one of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers … Read more
The President was awakened one night by an urgent call from the Pentagon. “Mr. President,” said the four-star general, barely able to contain himself, “There’s good news and bad news.” “Oh, no,” muttered the President, “Well, let me have the bad news first.” “The bad news, sir, is that we’ve been invaded by creatures from … Read more
John Kerry visits a primary school and sits in on one of the classes, which is in the middle of a discussion of words and their meaning. The teacher asks Mr. Kerry if he would like to lead the discussion of the word “tragedy.” So, the illustrious leader asks the class for an example of … Read more
On a visit to my wife’s native England for our honeymoon, we arrived at London’s Gatwick Airport. My wife headed for the British passport control line while I, an American, waited in the foreigners’ line. When my turn came, the customs officer asked me the purpose of my visit. “Pleasure,” I replied. “I’m on my … Read more
The teacher gave her fifth-grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day, the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, “My father’s a farmer, and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One … Read more
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend. “Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.” “What does that tell you?” Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically … Read more
It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their wedding night with the young man’s parents. In the morning, the mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast, went to the bottom of the stairs, and called for them to come down for breakfast. After a long wait, the family ate … Read more
Two physicians boarded a flight out of Seattle. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an attorney got on and took the aisle seat next to the two physicians. The attorney kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes, and was settling in when the physician in … Read more