On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. “I’m too young to die,” she wails. Then she … Read more
After my plane landed, I proceeded to the airport baggage area. To my dismay, there was no sign of my bags. I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. “Not to worry,” she smiled as she took a description of my bags. “Your luggage is … Read more
A young man joined the army and signed up with the paratroopers. He went through the standard training, completed the practice jumps from higher and higher structures, and finally went to take his first jump from an airplane. The next day, he phoned his father to tell him the news. “So, did you jump?” the … Read more
There was a guy walking down the street in San Francisco, and he tripped over an old-looking oil lamp. He picked it up and hid it under his jacket because he thought it was priceless. While he was running to the antique shop to cash this puppy in, it rubbed against his shirt. *POOF* A … Read more
Passengers on a small commuter plane are waiting for the flight to leave. The entrance opens, and two men walk up the aisle, dressed in pilots’ uniforms—both are wearing dark glasses, one is using a seeing-eye dog, and the other is tapping his way up the aisle with a cane. Nervous laughter spreads through the … Read more
Two Arabs boarded a flight out of London. One took a window seat and the other sat next to him in the middle seat. Just before takeoff, an American sat down in the aisle seat. After takeoff, the American kicked his shoes off, wiggled his toes, and was settling in when the Arab in the … Read more
A Polish paratrooper makes his first jump. He was given the following instructions: “Once you jump, you need to open your parachute. If it doesn’t open, you have a reserve one. The Jeep will wait for you on the ground.” So, he gets on the plane, jumps outside but can’t open his parachute. He then … Read more
A man walked into Joe’s Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks, “What’s up?” The man proceeds to explain he’s taking a vacation to Rome. “ROME?!” Joe says, “Why would you want to go there? It’s a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You’d be crazy to go to Rome! … Read more
A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the plane. The German sticks his hand out and says, “We are in Germany.” The others ask, “How do you know?” The German says, “Cuz’ it’s so cold.” Then … Read more
Two hunters were off on their annual trip to the Canadian wilderness to bag a moose. As the seaplane landed on a lake in a remote area, the pilot said, “I’ll be back in one week to pick you up. But only one moose, please.” When he returned to the lake, he found the hunters … Read more