An Irishman, an Italian, and a Polish guy are in a bar. They are having a good time and all agree that the bar is a nice place. Then the Irishman says, “Aye, this is a nice bar, but where I come from, back in Dublin, there’s a better one. At MacDougal’s, you buy a … Read more
After the Great Britain Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Señor, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from … Read more
There’s this guy in a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: “Come on man, I was … Read more
After a heavy night at the pub, a drunken man decides to sleep off his drunkenness at a local hotel. He approaches the reception desk, takes care of the formalities, and heads off to his suite. Several minutes later, the drunk staggers back to the reception desk and demands his room be changed. “But sir,” … Read more
Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night. He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let … Read more
There were these three Texans who were going to go to Mexico to get drunk. They arrived, got drunk, and passed out. When they woke up the next morning, they found themselves in jail. They asked the guards what they were in for, and the guard informed them that they were to be executed for … Read more
A man is in bed with his wife when there is a knock at the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s 3:30 in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to answer that?” … Read more
A man who drank only beer all his life walked into his regular bar. He asks the bartender, “Give me a shot of whiskey fast.” The bartender says to the man, “You have been coming in here for years and all you drink is beer. What seems to be the trouble?” The man replies, “I … Read more
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. He gets his drink, minds his own business, and looks up and down the bar. To his amazement, he is stunned to see a 10-foot pianist on top of the bar. “Hey bartender,” he says, “What is that 10-foot pianist doing on … Read more
A duck walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender says, “No,” so the duck leaves. The duck comes back the next day, goes up to the bartender, and says, “Got any grapes?” The bartender says, “No,” so the duck leaves. The next day, the duck … Read more