An American was backpacking across the highlands when he came across a small village where he decided to spend the night. Upon entering the local pub that evening for some drinks with the locals, he found himself in a conversation with one particularly drunk and indignant individual. “Ya see that fence out there?” the old … Read more
This guy sits down at the bar and orders 5 shots of tequila and downs them straight. The bartender, impressed, asks, “Hey buddy, did you have a long day?” The man replies that he just found out that his brother was gay and leaves. The next day, the same guy comes in and orders ten … Read more
A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly…he in the upper bunk and she in the lower. At 1:00 AM, he leans over and … Read more
After a Beer Festival in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, “Hey Sen~or, I would like the world’s best beer, a Corona.” The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, … Read more
A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew, finally making his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man’s sorry progress and … Read more
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting with the boys and spent his entire paycheck. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours with a tirade … Read more
A man walks into a bar and says to the bartender: “I want a 12-year-old scotch, and don’t try to fool me because I can tell the difference.” The bartender is skeptical and decides to try to trick the man with a 5-year-old scotch. The man takes a sip, scowls and says: “Hey, Bartender, this … Read more
A Texan walks into a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are damn good drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s … Read more
A pirate walks into a bar. He has a peg leg, hook for a hand, and a patch over his eye. The bartender asks, “So, what happened to your leg?” The pirate says, “Aaar, I was fighting the British Navy and they blew up me ship, I fell overboard, and a shark bit me leg … Read more
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy. “Where have you been all night?” she demands. “At this new bar,” he says. “The Golden Saloon. Everything there is golden. It’s got huge golden doors, a golden floor … Read more