Two buddies were drinking in a bar one night and had become extremely drunk. One guy was so drunk that he had gotten sick all over his shirt. He looks at his buddy and says, “My wife is gonna kill me when I get home, this is a brand new shirt!” His buddy looks at … Read more
One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says, “You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I’m gonna go over there and talk to him.” So, he goes over to the man and taps him … Read more
A man comes back home at 3 am, drunk as a skunk. He hears the cuckoo clock cuckoo three times. Quickly coming up with a plan, he cuckoos nine more times, hoping his wife would think it was midnight. He is very proud of himself. The next day, his wife asks what time he got … Read more
The policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car. “Are you sure this is your house?” the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood. “Shertainly!” said the drunk, “and … Read more
Every night after dinner, Harry took off for the local watering hole. He would spend the whole evening there and always arrive home, well inebriated, around midnight each night. He usually had trouble getting his key to fit the keyhole and couldn’t get the door open. And every time this happened, his wife would go … Read more