A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He’s going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, “OK jerk, I’ve heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. … Read more
One cold winter day, a blonde decides she wants to take up ice fishing. When she gets to the pond, she begins to cut a hole in the ice. As she does, she hears a voice. “There’s no fish there…” Puzzled, the blonde picks up her stuff and cuts another hole a few feet away. … Read more
Two blondes are walking down a road, one has a large sports bag. 1st blonde: “What have you got in that bag?” 2nd blonde: “Chickens.” 1st blonde: “If I can guess how many chickens you’ve got in that bag, can I have one of them?” 2nd blonde: “If you can guess how many chickens I’ve … Read more
A man walks into an auto store and asks the blonde cashier where the turtle wax is. The blonde says, “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t sell pet supplies.”
Three blondes walk into a forest and soon find a pair of tracks. The first blonde says: “I think they’re deer tracks.” The second blonde says: “No, I think they’re bear tracks.” The third blonde says: “You’re both wrong! They’re bird tracks!” Then they get hit by a train.
An blonde calls her boyfriend and says, “Please come over here and help me, I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can’t figure out how to get it started.” Her boyfriend asks, “What is it supposed to be when it’s finished?” The girl says, “According to the picture on the box, it’s a tiger.” … Read more
A blonde received a certificate for helicopter flying lessons for her birthday. One day she was bored and decided to take advantage of the opportunity. When she arrived at the place, the man said, “Well, there’s only one helicopter here, and it only has one seat. If I show you how to do it, do … Read more
At a dinner party, several guests were arguing whether men or women were more trustworthy. “No woman,” said one man scornfully, “can keep a secret.” “I don’t know about that,” answered a blonde woman guest. “I have kept my age a secret since I was twenty-one.” “You’ll let it out someday,” the man insisted. “I … Read more
Wanting a portrait with which to surprise his wife, a businessman asked a blonde female painter he’d been recommended to paint him in the nude. “No,” the talented blonde artist said. “I don’t do that sort of thing.” “But what if I double your fee?” he pleaded. “Nope, sorry. Won’t do it.” “How about I … Read more
A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor. The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears, and she answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang – but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear.” “Oh dear!” the … Read more