***** WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***** This is straight from DC: If you receive an email entitled “Badtimes”, delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet … Read more
8:05 am User called to say they forgot password. Told them to use password retrieval utility called FDISK. Blissfully ignorant, they thank me and hang up. God, we let the people vote and drive, too? 8:12 am Accounting called to say they couldn’t access the expense reports database. Gave them Standard Sys Admin Answer #112, … Read more
Come and listen to a story ’bout a man named Jed, A poor college kid, barely kept his family fed, But one day he was talking to a recruiter, Who said, “they pay big bucks if ya work on a computer…” UNIX, that is… CRTs… Workstations… Well, the first thing ya know ol’ Jed’s an … Read more
WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! If you receive an email with a subject of “Badtimes,” delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it. This is the most vicious and dangerous email virus yet. It will rewrite your hard drive. Not only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer. … Read more
The annual internet clean-up campaign will take place on the evening of March 31st, beginning at 9 pm EST and continuing until April 1st at 9 am EST. This annual event occurs to remove the trash that accumulates on the internet throughout the year. Without this annual clean-up campaign, the internet would become so overrun … Read more
Like every other techie, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on the just released, state-of-the-art, 64-bit, 128 mega-RAM, 48x, 24/7, in-your-face, out-of-your-control Microself Windows 2001. Yes, that was me at the front of the line in our local Get-a-Life Software store, waiting, waiting for the moment when the future went on sale. And now … Read more
An old, bearded shepherd with a crooked staff walks up to a stone pulpit and says: “And lo, it came to pass that the trader by the name of Abraham Com did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long … Read more
Loading, loading, loading, Damn this Java coding, Feeling of foreboding, Reload! The Applet says it’s running, And that big gray block is stunning, But the screen remains as blank as my mind. Netscape crash, Boot ’em up! Net goes down, Dial back! Logging on, Still off-line! Reload! Try it now, Still not up! Netscape crashed, … Read more
The Lord is my programmer, I shall not crash. He installed His software on the hard disk of my heart, All of His commands are user-friendly, His directory moves me to the right choices for His name’s sake. Even though I scroll through the problems of file, I will fear no bugs, for You are … Read more
A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show A window was something you hated to clean And RAM was the cousin of a goat Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was your middle finger upright Now they all mean different things And that really megabytes An application was for … Read more