Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary, System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor, Longing for the warmth of bed sheets, still I sat there doing spreadsheets. Having reached the bottom line I took a floppy from the drawer, I then invoked the SAVE command and waited for the … Read more
Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX: Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program? Abbott: Yes, that’s correct. Costello: No, what is it? Abbott: Yes. Costello: So, which is the one? Abbott: No. ‘which’ is used to find the program. Costello: Stop this. Who are you? … Read more
1. Your stationery is more cluttered than Warren Beatty’s address book. The letterhead lists a fax number, e-mail addresses for two online services, and your Internet address, which spreads across the breadth of the letterhead and continues to the back. In essence, you have conceded that the first page of any letter you write *is* … Read more
A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical looking parrots on a perch and says: “The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars.” “Why does the parrot cost so much?” the customer asks. The owner says, “Well, it knows how to use a computer.” The … Read more
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to … Read more
In March 1992, a man living in Newton near Boston, Massachusetts, received a bill for his as-yet-unused credit card stating that he owed $0.00. He ignored it and threw it away. In April, he received another bill and threw that one away too. The following month, the credit card company sent him a very nasty … Read more
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family, “I know Daddy’s password! I know Daddy’s password!” “What is it?” her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied, “Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!”
Signs You Are “Webbed Out” From Using The Web: – Your opening line is, “So what’s your home page address?” – Your best friend is someone you’ve never met. – You see a beautiful sunset and you expect to see “Enhanced for IE 5.5” on the clouds. – You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and … Read more
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally, God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge … Read more
Jesus and Satan were having an ongoing argument about who was better on his computer. They had been going at it for days, and God was tired of hearing all of the bickering. Finally God said, “Cool it. I am going to set up a test that will run two hours and I will judge … Read more