A weary mother returned from the store, lugging groceries through the kitchen door. Awaiting her arrival was her 8-year-old son, anxious to relate what his younger brother had done. “While I was out playing and Dad was on a call, T.J. took his crayons and wrote on the wall! It’s on the new paper you … Read more
Unable to attend the funeral after his father died, a son who lived far away called his brother and told him, “Do something nice for Dad and send me the bill.” Later, he got a bill for $200.00, which he paid. The next month, he got another bill for $200.00, which he also paid, figuring … Read more
A woman in Brooklyn decided to prepare her Will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered all over Bloomingdales. “Why Bloomingdales?” asked the rabbi. “Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week.”
A mother was showing her son how to zip up his coat. “The secret,” she said, “is to get the left part of the zipper to fit in the other side before you try to zip it up.” The boy looked at her quizzically and asked, “Why does it have to be a secret?”
On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, “The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.”
“Do you believe in life after death?” the boss asked one of his employees. “Yes, sir,” the clerk replied. “That’s good,” the boss said. “After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.”
A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know son, I’m still paying.”
A doctor is walking down the hall of the hospital toward his office when he passes Mother Angelica walking very briskly while saying her rosary rather loudly. His associate, a psychiatrist, comes around the corner next and he asks him about this. “Hey, what’s with Mother Angelica? She was just hoofing down the hall and … Read more
Jonathan took his college roommate, Jake, home for Easter. After dinner, Jonathan addressed his father (who was a man of the cloth): “Dad, I need to tell you something. Jake and I want to get married and we’d like your blessing.” Jonathan’s father practically exploded. His face turned red and he was speechless for ten … Read more
An attorney was sitting in his office late one night when the Devil appeared before him. The Devil told the lawyer, “I have a proposition for you. You can win every case you try for the rest of your life. Your clients will adore you, your colleagues will stand in awe of you, and you … Read more