“I can’t go on like this!” the woman bawled at her husband. “My mother sends us money, my sister buys our kids clothes, and my aunt brings us food. I’m so ashamed.” “You should be!” replied the never-do-well. “Your uncles don’t give us a damn thing.”
This woman goes into labor. They rush to the hospital. When they are there, the doctor comes in and tells the husband about the new invention they have. He says, “This machine right here makes it easier for the woman to have a child. You strap this to your wrist and the father of the … Read more
When I was younger, I hated going to weddings. It seemed that all of my aunts and the grandmotherly types used to come up to me, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, “You’re next.” They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.
One day, this little boy went on a bus and sat right behind the bus driver. The little boy kept on saying things like, “If my daddy was an elephant and my mommy a girl elephant, I would be a little elephant.” The little boy kept going on, using almost all the animals he knew, … Read more
A young virgin marries a Greek man, and before the wedding, her father tells her that, being Greek, her husband may ask her to turn the other way in bed one day, but she doesn’t have to do it if she doesn’t want to. Sure enough, after a couple of months, her husband asks her … Read more
My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service, he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door. On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The … Read more
One day, a father and a child were walking down Manhattan Island. This was the year 2032, and as the boy and the father were walking, the father stopped and told his son, “See there, son, that is where your grandfather died during the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center.” Then the boy asked … Read more
My uncle once spent days looking for his new hat. Finally, he decided that he’d go to church on Sunday and sit at the back. During the service, he would sneak out and grab a hat from the rack at the front door. On Sunday, he went to church and sat at the back. The … Read more
Letter from Camp… Dear Mom & Dad, We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of … Read more
The big game hunter gets talked into taking both his wife and her mother along on one of his expeditions. It does not go well. The mother-in-law is, if anything, harder to get along with in the wilds than she was in the city. And to make matters worse, she won’t even abide by the … Read more