There was a mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse out in the country. The papa mole reached his head out of the hole and said, “Mmm, I smell sausage.” The mama mole reached her head outside of the hole and said, “Mmm, I … Read more
A motorist, after being bogged down in a muddy road, paid a passing farmer five dollars to pull him out with his tractor. After he was back on dry ground, he said to the farmer, “At those prices, I should think you would be pulling people out of the mud night and day.” “Can’t,” replied … Read more
A Rabbi, a Hindu, and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car expired. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door, the farmer explained that he had only two beds, and one of the three had to sleep in the … Read more
A blonde lived on a farm. He didn’t get many visitors, so I went to see him. When I got there, he was standing stiff as a board, out in the middle of the cow paddock. I yelled out to him and asked what he was doing standing out there all still and straight. He … Read more
A couple who had been married for over 20 years were having a fight in the car during a trip for a holiday. After arguing for a moment, they decided to quit talking and silence ruled. Then, after a few minutes, they passed some pigs on a farm, all making those horrible noises—I don’t know … Read more
One day, a traveling salesman was driving down a back country road at about 30 miles an hour when he noticed that there was a three-legged chicken running alongside his car. He stepped on the gas, but at 50 miles per hour, the chicken was still keeping up. After about a mile of running, the … Read more
My Uncle Jim did not appear to be much for words. Nor was he ever seen to have friends or pets. We thought he was the primordial loner until one time we caught him with his ant farm. He loved the creatures. He knew more about ants than I knew about the streets in our … Read more
A farmer sent his nephew a crate of chickens, but the box burst open just as the boy started to take them out. The next day he wrote his uncle, “I chased them through my neighbor’s yard, but only got back eleven.” The uncle wrote back: “You did all right. I only sent six.”
Johnny Cochran was duck hunting in Montana recently when he attempted to cross a fence into a field to retrieve a duck he had shot. A farmer suddenly pulled up in his pick-up truck, jumped out, and asked Mr. Cochran what he was doing on his property. “Retrieving this duck that I just shot,” he … Read more
A farmer dies and goes to hell. While down there, the Devil notices that the farmer is not suffering like the rest. He checks the gauges and sees that it’s 90 degrees and about 80 percent humidity. So the Devil goes over to the farmer and asks why he’s so happy. The farmer says, “I … Read more