One day, two guys decide to take a drive to a local grocery store to get some lunch. On the way to the store, they come to an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red. The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, “What the … Read more
Jesus came to Moses in heaven one day and said, “We’ve got to do something about this golf thing. No one goes to church anymore.” “What should we do?” Moses asked. “In order to combat this, we’ve got to know what it is,” Jesus said. “Meet me at the golf course tomorrow morning.” The next … Read more
There was this Christian lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read, and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he … Read more
The phone rings at FBI headquarters. “Hello?” “My neighbor John Smith is an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his woodshed.” “We’ll take notice of this.” The next day, the FBI goes to Smith’s house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept, break every piece of wood, find no … Read more
Pilot: Pilot to tower… pilot to tower… I am 300 miles from land… 600 feet high and running out of gas… please instruct… over. Tower: Tower to pilot… tower to pilot… Repeat after me… “Our Father, which art in heaven…”
It’s Saturday morning, and John is just about to set off on a round of golf when he realizes that he forgot to tell his wife that the guy who fixes the washing machine is coming around at noon. So John heads back to the clubhouse and phones home. “Hello?” says the little girl’s voice. … Read more
The prominent middle-aged attorney was walking in the woods when he heard a booming voice from above say, “You are going to live to be 100.” That must be God speaking, the attorney thought. Immediately, he began doing good deeds, figuring out that he now had ample time to make amends in order to enter … Read more
Three ducks go to heaven. The first duck waddles up to St. Peter and St. Peter asks, “What happened? You know, how did you die?” The duck replies, “I was just minding my own business, floating along in the water. I stuck my head under, started blowing bubbles, and a boat ran over my back.” … Read more
An Englishman, a New Zealander, and a South African walk into a bar for a drink. The Kiwi orders a round of Tequila Slammers for the group. They slam and down their drinks in one go. The Kiwi then picks up the glasses in one hand and throws them in the air. He draws a … Read more
There were three nuns who suddenly died. All their lives they wanted to go to heaven, and being nuns, they were pretty sure that they would definitely go there. But when they died, they went to the gates of heaven and they couldn’t get in. They started looking at each other wondering why and suddenly … Read more