These three guys – an American, Chinese, and German – were shipwrecked on a desert island. The German found this smokey bottle. So he brought it back to the other two and they all opened it together (the German was a really nice guy). Well, lo and behold, a GENIE POPPED OUT! The genie granted … Read more
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other of the afterlife. The woman’s biggest fear was that there was no heaven. After a long life, the husband was the first to go and true to his word, he made contact. “Mary… Mary….” “Is that you, Fred?” “Yes, … Read more
“Piston Broke” One late evening, a redneck named Leroy came out of the local pub a little drunk. He got into his pickup truck and started driving home. He was on a lonely stretch of road when all of a sudden a piston blew right through the engine hood. Leroy got out of his pickup, … Read more
A man passed away and went to heaven. When the man arrived at the pearly gates, St. Peter said, “Come on in. I’ll show you around. You’ll like it here.” Walking through the gates, the man noticed clocks everywhere. There were grandfather clocks, wall clocks, watches, and clocks in every corner. It appeared that heaven … Read more
It was a boring Sunday afternoon in the jungle, so the elephants decided to challenge the ants to a game of soccer. The game was going well with the elephants beating the ants ten to nothing when the ants gained possession of the ball. The ants’ star player was dribbling the ball towards the elephants’ … Read more
The Ballad Of The Y2K (sing to the tune of “Gilligan’s Island”) Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale Of the doom that is our fate. That started when programmers used Two digits for a date Two digits for a date RAM memory was smaller then; Hard drives were tiny, too. “Four digits … Read more
An applicant for life insurance was finding it difficult to fill out the application. “What’s the trouble?” the salesman asked. The man said that he was reluctant to answer the question about the cause of death of his father. The salesman wanted to know why. With some embarrassment, the client explained that his father had … Read more
It got crowded in heaven, so, for one day it was decided only to accept people who had really had a bad day on the day they died. St. Peter was standing at the pearly gates and said to the first man, “Tell me about the day you died.” The man said, “Oh, it was … Read more
Bill Gates dies and goes to St. Peter. St. Peter says, “We don’t know where to send you. You’ve been both good and bad. So, we decided to let you decide between heaven and hell.” Gates says, “Can I preview them first?” St. Peter allows a preview, and off they go to hell. In hell, … Read more
There were two old men who had loved baseball all of their life. They had grown up in the same town where they played together through grade school, high school, and then college. After college, they didn’t have the skill for professional ball, so they learned to be umpires in order to stay around the … Read more