Betty and Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them. They asked if they could still be married in Heaven. “Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay there and I will be right back.” Six months passed … Read more
Two moose hunters from Texas are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of … Read more
When Mother Teresa died, she went to Heaven. For a week or two, she was fully satisfied that she had to eat only fruits and vegetables, but then one day complained to St. Peter and asked for a cooked meal. “My Dear,” said St. Peter, “and who is going to cook every day for just … Read more
Hello. Welcome to this year’s public service entrance exam. I see that all of you have been able to find yourself a seat and a desk, so obviously you’ve got what it takes to be public servants. Should you pass this exam and become a member of the public service, you will enjoy not only … Read more
Reverend Billy Graham tells of a time early in his ministry when he arrived in a small town to preach a sermon. Wanting to mail a letter, he asked a young boy where the post office was. When the boy had told him, Dr. Graham thanked him and said, “If you’ll come to the Baptist … Read more
Three men languished in Purgatory. After a while, they began talking to one another. Eventually, they got around to the age-old question asked by internees everywhere: “Whaddya in for?” The first man sighed, rolled his eyes heavenward and said, “Allah forgive me! I am a Moslem, and I once drank beer with my lunch.” The … Read more
Sleeping Beauty, Tom Thumb, and Quasimodo were walking through the forest when Sleeping Beauty turned and said, “I must be the most beautiful girl in the world.” To that, Tom Thumb said, “I must be the smallest.” And Quasimodo said, “I must be the ugliest in the world.” With that, Tom Thumb said, “Why don’t … Read more
When the new patient was settled comfortably on the couch, the psychiatrist began his therapy session. “I’m not aware of your problem,” the doctor said. “So perhaps you should start at the very beginning.” “Of course,” replied the patient. “In the beginning, I created the Heavens and the Earth…”
Three guys get to heaven: Bob, Larry, and Bill. Before they enter, St. Peter warns them, “Whatever you do, don’t ever, ever step on a duck. Once one quacks, they all do, and they make a terrible racket.” Bob enters heaven and immediately steps on a duck. An angel comes up to him and chains … Read more
Giraffe and bunny meet up in the forest. Giraffe, in his usual arrogant way, starts up a conversation. “So, bunny, do you know how great it is to have such a long neck?” he asks, a faint tone of smugness in his voice. “I’m sure I don’t,” replies bunny, obviously not really that interested. “Well, … Read more