A couple was celebrating their golden wedding anniversary. Their domestic tranquility had long been known about the town, and on this very special occasion, a local newspaper reporter paid them a visit. He inquired as to the secret of their long and happy marriage. “Well,” explained the husband, “it all goes all the way back … Read more
An Illinois man left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he … Read more
Heaven is when you have: – An American salary – A British home – Chinese food – A Swiss economy – An Italian body – Japanese technology – An African tool – An Indian wife Hell is when you have: – An American wife – A British body – Chinese tool – Swiss food – … Read more
A married couple is sleeping when the phone rings at 3 a.m. The wife picks up the phone and, after a few seconds, replies, “How am I supposed to know? We’re 200 miles inland!” and hangs up. Her husband rolls over and asks, “Sweetheart, who was that?” “I don’t know, some idiot asking if the … Read more
70-year-old George went for his annual physical. All of his tests came back with normal results. Dr. Smith said, “George, everything looks great physically. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with yourself, and do you have a good relationship with your God?” George replied, “God and me are tight. He … Read more
A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine. “What was that for?” he asked. “That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it,” she replied. “Two weeks ago when … Read more
Harold’s new job had him working really late. He decides to get his wife a watchdog. He goes to the pet store and asks for a Doberman. The employee said, “If it’s a guard dog you want, I have a dog just for you.” The man walks to the back of the store to get … Read more
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries—one for him, one for her—until each had half of them. Then he poured … Read more
An old man was wondering if his wife had a hearing problem. So one night, he stood behind her while she was sitting in her lounge chair. He spoke softly to her, “Honey, can you hear me?” There was no response. He moved a little closer and said again, “Honey, can you hear me?” Still, … Read more
Brenda O’Malley is home making dinner, as usual, when Tim Finnegan arrives at her door. “Brenda, may I come in?” he asks. “I’ve somethin’ to tell ya.” “Of course you can come in, you’re always welcome, Tim. But where’s my husband?” “That’s what I’m here to be tellin’ ya, Brenda. There was an accident down … Read more