“Fence of Thirteens: A Curious Walk Past the Asylum”

A guy is walking past a high, solid wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, “Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!” He continues walking along the long fence, but, being a curious person, he can’t help but wonder why they are chanting “Thirteen!” over and over. Could it be that they … Read more

“Rising to the Occasion: The Price of a Permanent Erection”

A man went into a pharmacy and asked to talk to a male pharmacist. The woman he was talking to said that she was the pharmacist and that she and her sister owned the store, so there were no males employed there. She then asked if there was something which she could help the gentleman … Read more

“Lost in Translation: The Cure for Cancer”

A class from a nearby university was visiting a major drug manufacturer. The tour guide led the students to a glass-enclosed room where they could see several people in white lab coats. With her back to the glass, the guide announced, “In this room, researchers are actively searching for a cure for cancer.” She stopped … Read more

“Heavenly Accounting for Nurses”

Three nurses went to heaven and were awaiting their turn with St. Peter to plead their case to enter the pearly gates. The first nurse said, “I worked in an emergency room. We tried our best to help patients, but occasionally we did lose one. I think I deserve to go to heaven.” St. Peter … Read more

“Psalm of Psychoanalysis: A Humorous Take on Mental Health”

The Lord is my external-internal integrative mechanism; I shall not be deprived of gratification for my viscerogenic hungers or my need dispositions. He motivates me to orient myself toward a non-social object with affective significance. He positions me in a non-decisional situation. He maximizes my adjustment. Although I entertain masochistic and self-destructive id impulses, I … Read more

“Art Appreciation, with a Twist!”

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings currently on display. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it … Read more

“Surgical Taste Test”

A young woman was in the hospital, recovering from major surgery. She hated being stuck in the tiny little room all day, and to make matters worse, the daily routine was starting to get to her. Every morning, for example, the nurse would bring her breakfast (which always consisted of an egg, a piece of … Read more

“Last Words of Wisdom from Fred”

Fred was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his pastor. As the pastor stood beside the bed, Fred’s frail condition grew worse, and he began to flail about as he tried to speak. Being unable to do so, he then motioned frantically for something to write on. The priest, keeping watch … Read more

“Surgeon vs. Mechanic: Heart Surgery vs. Car Repair”

A young mechanic was repairing the engine of a cardiac surgeon’s BMW while the owner waited. The mechanic yelled across the floor to the doctor, “Hey Doc, can I ask you something?” The surgeon was a bit surprised but he walked over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened himself up and wiped his hands with … Read more

“Pregnancy Surprise: The Unconventional Cure”

A woman went to the doctor’s office. She was seen by one of the new doctors, but after about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out, screaming as she ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped and asked her what the problem was, and she explained. He had her sit down and … Read more