Three doctors are in the duck blind and a bird flies overhead. The general practitioner looks at it and says, “Looks like a duck, flies like a duck… it’s probably a duck,” shoots at it but misses and the bird flies away. The next bird flies overhead, and the pathologist looks at it, then looks … Read more
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead were sitting in the OB/GYN’s office. The brunette and the redhead were discussing whether they were having boys or girls. The redhead mentioned that she was on top, and the doctor said that was how to get pregnant with a boy. The blonde, listening, began to cry. The … Read more
An old man decided his old wife was getting hard of hearing. So he called her doctor to make an appointment to have her hearing checked. The Doctor said he could see her in two weeks, and meanwhile there’s a simple, informal test the husband could do to give the doctor some idea of the … Read more
This old man visits his doctor and after a thorough examination, the doctor tells him, “I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?” Patient: Well, give me the bad news first. Doctor: You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left. Patient: That’s terrible! In two … Read more
Three old men are at the doctor’s office for a memory test. The doctor says to the first old man, “What is three times three?” “274,” was his reply. The doctor worriedly says to the second man, “It’s your turn. What is three times three?” “Tuesday” replies the second man. The doctor sadly says to … Read more
A pregnant woman is in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby. The doctor replies, “Ma’am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your … Read more
A cardiac specialist died, and at his funeral, the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock-up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their goodbyes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside, and the heart closed. Just then, one of … Read more
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor. “Do you wash?” the doctor asked the smelly young girl. “Oh, yes,” Mary answered. “Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible.” “Well,” the doctor concluded, … Read more
Jim and Mary were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sunk to the bottom and stayed there. Mary promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out. When the medical … Read more
An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor, and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor, and the doctor said, “Your … Read more