Tragically, three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter. “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?” asks St. Peter. … Read more
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, “Mom, why have I got these huge three-toed feet?” The mother replies, “Well, son, when we trek across the desert, your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand.” “OK,” said the son. A few minutes later, … Read more
A man walks into a doctor’s office. He says, “Doctor, I’m suffering from silent gas emissions. All day at work, I have these silent gas emissions. Last night during a movie, I had 10 silent gas emissions. This morning in the car on the way to your office, I had five silent gas emissions. And … Read more
While attending a convention, three psychiatrists take a walk. “People are always coming to us with their guilt and fears,” one says, “but we have no one to go to with our own problems.” “Since we’re all professionals,” another suggests, “why don’t we hear each other out right now?” They agree this is a good … Read more
A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn’t been feeling well and wants to find out if he’s ill. After the checkup, the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. “I’m afraid I have some bad news. You’re dying and you don’t have much time,” the doctor says. “Oh … Read more
This woman rushed to see her doctor, looking very much worried and all strung out. She rattles off: “Doctor, take a look at me. When I woke up this morning, I looked at myself in the mirror and saw my hair all wiry and frazzled up, my skin was all wrinkled and pasty, my eyes … Read more
A man was in a terrible accident, and his “manhood” was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn’t cover the surgery, since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said that the cost would be $3500 for small, $6500 … Read more
A woman went to the hospital to have her baby. When she was admitted, the doctor came in and said, “We have a new program where the father feels the pain.” After about half an hour into labor, the father said, “This is cool, I don’t feel anything.” The next day, they came home from … Read more
An elderly married couple scheduled their annual medical examination the same day so they could travel together. After the examination, the doctor then said to the man: “You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?” “In fact, I do,” said the man. … Read more
Al Gore and George W. Bush found themselves in the same barbershop at the same time, seated side by side, getting the works. Their barbers finished shaving the two presidential candidates right about the same time and each barber reached for some aftershave to slap on their customers’ faces. Bush shouted, “Hey, don’t put that … Read more