Everybody on earth dies and goes to heaven. God comes and says, “I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men that dominated their women on earth and the other line for the men that were dominated by their women. Also, I want all the women to go with St. Peter.” … Read more
A man was walking in the street when he heard a voice. “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped, and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished. He went on, and after a … Read more
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each other’s throats for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the counselor’s office, the … Read more
A man takes his wife to the livestock show. They start heading down the alley that houses all the bulls. The sign on the first bull’s stall states: “This bull mated 50 times last year.” The wife turns to her husband and says, “He mated 50 times in a year, isn’t that nice!” They proceed … Read more
The man’s business trip is cancelled, and he is at home with a rather nervous wife. They go to bed, but about midnight, the phone rings. The man rolls over and answers, “Hello?” “What?” “How the hell should I know, I live in Phoenix.” He hangs up, and his wife asks, “Who was it, dear?” … Read more
Two guys were talking at work. “I’ve got a problem,” said the first one. “What is it?” “My wife has done it to me again. I’m supposed to buy my mother-in-law a present for her birthday, from the two of us. And I am fresh out of ideas. I mean it’s HER mother, why can’t … Read more
Three couples went in to see the minister to inquire about becoming members of his church. The minister informed them that they would need to abstain from sex for two weeks and then report back on their experience. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle-aged, and the third couple was newlywed. After … Read more
A young couple, just married, were in their honeymoon suite on their wedding night. As Emma undressed for bed, the husband (who was a burly bruiser) tossed his pants to his bride and said, “Here, put these on.” She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body. “I can’t wear … Read more
A man is at work one day when he notices that his co-worker, Morris, is wearing an earring. This man knows his co-worker to be a normally conservative fellow and is curious about his sudden change in “fashion sense.” The man walks up to him and says, “I didn’t know you were into earrings.” “Don’t … Read more
A married woman was having a passionate affair with an inspector from a pest-control company. One afternoon they were carrying on in the bedroom together when her husband arrived home unexpectedly. “Quick,” said the woman to her lover, “into the closet!” She pushed him into the closet stark naked. The husband, however, became suspicious and … Read more