These two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years. The first guy asks the second guy, “How have things been going?” The second guy, speaking very slowly, tells the first guy, “I was almost married.” The first guy says in amazement, “Hey, you don’t stutter anymore.” The answer comes, “Yes, … Read more
A young woman brings home her fiancé to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancé to his study for a drink. “So what are your plans?” the father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar,” he replies. “A … Read more
An old man in Mississippi was sitting on his front porch watching the sun rise. He sees the neighbor’s kid walk by carrying something big under his arm. He yells out, “Hey boy, whatcha got there?” The boy yells back, “Roll of chicken wire.” The old man says, “What you gonna do with that?” The … Read more
Three Paddy’s (Irish men) are in London looking for work on a building site. The first Paddy (the smart one) goes in to see the foreman. The conversation starts. Foreman: “So then Paddy, how many bricks can you lay in a day?” Paddy: “That would be 200 bricks in a day, sir.” Foreman: “Good man … Read more
A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, … Read more
Boudreaux went to the store and bought himself a pair of patent leather shoes. After seeing how mirror-like they were, he decided to go to the dance. He asked one lady to dance. He then told her, “You are wearing red panties.” She asked how he knew, and he looked down at his patent leather … Read more
A tourist is in Spain and goes to a fancy restaurant for dinner. As he looks around, he notices a diner being served a beautifully garnished dish with two gigantic meatballs in the middle. When the waiter asks him for his order, the man asks him about the meatball dish. The waiter explains that the … Read more
Sam had been in business for 25 years and is finally sick of the stress. He quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. Sam sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet. After six months … Read more
A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, “You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. Bell 3 rings and we’re ready to go on the trucks.” “From … Read more
Two men were sitting in a bar. One man turned to the other and said, “I slept with your mother!” The other man ignored him. A few moments later, the man said, more forcefully this time, “I slept with your mother!!” The other turned to him and replied, “Go home Dad, you’ve had too much … Read more