Three men go golfing together one day. When they get to the third hole, one said to the other, “How did you manage to get here today past your wife?” The second man said, “It wasn’t easy. I had to promise my wife that I would paint the full house outside. How did you do … Read more
An American woman of 40 wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with a woman. After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad. She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the … Read more
George went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family, including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, George’s mother-in-law died. With the death certificate in hand, George went to the American Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to the States for proper … Read more
A farmer walks into the local bar and sits down at the bar. The farmer mumbles, “Some things I just can’t explain.” The bartender, who knows the farmer as Jim, asks, “What do you mean, Jim?” “Well, you know my old cow Betsy? I was milking her this morning and out of the blue she … Read more
An old man is sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out. A young jogger comes by and asks him what is the matter. The old man says, “I’m a multimillionaire, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world, and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me … Read more
A man had 50-yard line tickets for the Super Bowl. As he sits down, a man comes down and asked the man if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him. “No,” he said, “the seat is empty.” “This is incredible,” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a seat like … Read more
This little boy woke up three nights in a row because he kept hearing thumping noises coming from his parents’ room. He finally approached his mom and said, “Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making noise and when I look in, you’re bouncing up and down on him.” His mom is taken by … Read more
A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Superbowl from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at the stadium, he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium – he is closer to the Goodyear Blimp than the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices … Read more
A famous sexologist was giving a lecture in front of a big crowd. “There are 4 kinds of men when it comes to sex. The first kind does it every day. You can usually recognize him by his masculine body and the constant smile on his face. Do we have anyone like this in the … Read more
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. “In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into Heaven.” The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. “It represents … Read more