Jenny’s husband, Charley, was a male chauvinist. Even though they both worked full-time, he never helped around the house. Housework was woman’s work! But one evening Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, one load of clothes in the washer and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove, and the table … Read more
This couple was dining out when the wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Elliot,” she said, pointing, “do you see that man downing bourbon at the bar?” The husband looked over and nodded. “Well,” the woman continued, “he’s been drinking like that for 10 years, ever since I jilted him!” The husband returned … Read more
A man was walking down the street when he noticed his grandpa sitting on the porch in the rocking chair with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing?” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in the distance and did not answer him. “Grandpa, what are you doing sitting out here … Read more
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year-old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What are these, Dad?” The man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.” “Oh, I see,” replied the boy pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of that … Read more
A wife comes home after a shopping trip and is horrified to see her husband in bed with a young woman. She’s about to storm out of the house, and the husband says, “But I can explain, dear. As I was driving home, I saw this poor and tired-looking creature standing by the road, so … Read more
An efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. “You need to be careful about trying these techniques at home,” he warned. “Why?” asked somebody from the audience. “I watched my wife’s routine at dinner for years,” the expert explained. “She made lots of trips between the refrigerator, stove, table, and cabinets, often … Read more
Bob and Jane were married for 25 years. When they first got married, Bob said, “I am putting a box under the bed. You must promise never to look in it.” In all their 25 years of marriage, Jane never looked. However, on the afternoon of their 25th anniversary, curiosity got the best of her … Read more
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows in … Read more
A young wife, her boorish husband, and a young good-looking sailor were shipwrecked on an island. One morning, the sailor climbed a tall coconut tree and yelled, “Stop making love down there!” “What’s the matter with you?” the husband said when the sailor climbed down. “We weren’t making love.” “Sorry,” said the sailor, “From up … Read more
John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night. He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, … Read more