The Pope and the Queen of England are on the same stage at an Anglican and Catholic commemoration of the Anglo-Irish accords. The crowd is enormous—thousands of people gathered to witness the event. Her Majesty and His Holiness can’t help but feel a little rivalry, both being heads of their respective churches. The Queen turns … Read more
I pulled up to the drive-thru of a fast-food restaurant and ordered a coffee. Wanting to cool it down quickly, I asked the clerk to add a few ice cubes to the cup. At the window, there was a delay. I waited patiently until, finally, a teenage girl appeared, looking visibly frustrated. “I’m having a … Read more
Have you heard about the next planned “Survivor” show? Six men will be dropped on an island with 1 van and 4 kids each, for 6 weeks. Each kid plays two sports and takes music, dance, or lessons on both. There is no access to fast food. Each man must take care of his 4 … Read more
A Jewish man, a Polish man, and a man from India are driving around looking for a hotel. Unfortunately, a convention happens to be in town that night, and there are no rooms available. They wind up driving to the outskirts of the city where at last they come across a motel with a VACANCY … Read more
Ole and Lena were sitting down to their usual cup of morning coffee, listening to the weather report coming over the radio. “There will be 3 to 5 inches of snow today and a snow emergency has been declared. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the streets,” the announcer said. Ole … Read more
A couple from Minneapolis decided to go to Florida for a long weekend to thaw out during one particularly icy winter. Because both had jobs, they had difficulty coordinating their travel schedules. It was decided that the husband would fly to Florida on a Thursday, and his wife would follow him the next day. Upon … Read more
It was last Wednesday night, and I was sitting in my room watching television when the phone rang. “Hello?” I said. A girl’s voice came over the line. “Can I speak to Ben, please?” I live by myself, and my name definitely is not Ben. It was probably a wrong number and I was bored. … Read more
A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flower beds, and he had tried everything. Two … Read more
A woman wants the inside of her house painted, so she calls a contractor for help. They walk around the house as she points out the colors she wants. “In the living room, I’d like a neutral beige—very soft and warm,” she says. The contractor nods thoughtfully, then walks over to the window, leans out, … Read more
The controller who was working a busy pattern told the 727 on downwind to make a three-sixty (to do a complete circle, usually to provide spacing between aircraft). The pilot of the 727 complained, “Do you know it costs us two thousand dollars to make a three-sixty in this airplane?” Without missing a beat, the … Read more