Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, “Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch on such a hot day, while our boss is sitting in the shade?” “I don’t know,” responded the other. “I’ll ask him.” So he climbed out of the hole … Read more
The loudspeaker of the big jet clicked on, and the captain’s voice announced: “There’s no cause for alarm, but we felt you should know that for the last three hours we’ve been flying without the benefit of radio, compass, radar, or navigational beam due to the breakdown of several important components. So, in the broad … Read more
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news. Which do you want first? Patient: Give me the bad news first. Doctor: Well, we accidentally amputated the wrong leg. Patient: What’s the good news? Doctor: It turns out that your other leg didn’t need to be amputated at all.
A blonde wearing a brown wig walks into a store and says to an employee, “I’d like to buy that TV.” The employee replies, “Sorry, I don’t sell TVs to blondes,” and the blonde leaves the store. The next day, the same blonde walks in wearing a red wig. She says, “I wish to buy … Read more
“Well, how are you getting on with your dating of the banker’s daughter?” “Not so bad. I’m getting some encouragement now.” “Really, is she beginning to smile sweetly at you or something?” “Not exactly, but last night she said that she’s said ‘no’ for the last time.”
A woman went to her psychiatrist and said, “Doctor, I want to talk to you about my husband. He thinks he’s a refrigerator.” “That’s not so bad,” said the doctor. “It’s a rather harmless complex.” “Well, maybe,” replied the lady. “But he sleeps with his mouth open and the light keeps me awake along with … Read more
A young couple trying to live up to a snobbish lifestyle went to a party. The conversation soon came to Mozart, “Absolutely brilliant…lovely…oh, a fine fellow…a genius, Mozart was.” The woman, wanting to get in on the conversation remarked, “Ah, Mozart. You’re so right. It was just this morning that I saw him getting on … Read more
“Hey Sam!” exclaimed Jim, meeting a buddy for the first time since the war’s end. “Did you marry that girl you were dating a while back, or are you still doing your own cooking and ironing?” “Yes,” replied Sam.
True Blonde A young brunette goes into the doctor’s office and says that her body hurts whenever she touches it. “Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.” She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, she pushes her ankle and screams, and so it goes on, … Read more
All the good knights were leaving for the Crusades. One knight told his best friend, “My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving you the key … Read more