A man sitting at a bar was really drunk when he decided he had to use the restroom. He stumbled off to the restroom a few seconds later. After some time had passed, the bartender heard this horrifying scream. Since the other customers were starting to leave because of the noise, the bartender went back … Read more
There were three women speeding down a country road. One was a brunette, another a redhead, and the third a blonde. A cop saw them speeding and put on his siren. The three girls pulled over, got out of the car, and each climbed up a different tree to hide. The cop pulled over and … Read more
A golf club walks into a local bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. The barman refuses to serve him. “Why not?” asks the golf club. “You’ll be driving later,” replies the bartender.
The Colorado State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising hikers, hunters, fishermen, and golfers to take extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the Dillon, Breckenridge, and Keystone areas. They advise people to wear noise-producing devices, such as little bells, on their clothing to alert but not startle the bears … Read more
A grasshopper walks into a bar and walks up to the bar. The bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” “Really?” asks the grasshopper, “You have a drink named Steve?”
A biologist, a psychologist, and a mathematician were sitting in a bar drinking coffee. Across the street, they watched as 2 people walked into the house, and then 3 people came out. “They must have reproduced!” cried the biologist. “It can’t be physically done!” cried the psychologist. “You guys are both wrong,” said the mathematician. … Read more
Two sausages were in a pan. One sausage turns to the other and says, “Man, it’s getting hot in here.” The other sausage screams and says, “AH! A talking sausage!!”
In pharmacology, all drugs, once their patent expires, are given generic names. For example: Tylenol is Acetaminophen, Advil is Ibuprofen, and so on. The FDA is looking for a generic name for Viagra and announced today that they have settled on: Mycoxafailin. Other names considered were: Mycoxafloppin, Mydixadrupin, Mycoxnowworkin, Mydixarizen…
Did you hear about the blond girl in a coffin? She was the winner of the 1994 hide & seek contest. P.S: Written in the year 2001.
Paddy and Seamus were flying to the U.S.A. in a jumbo jet when an hour into the flight they heard this message: “Beep beep, this is your captain speaking. We have just lost one of our four engines. Do not be alarmed, this plane is fully equipped to fly us to America on only three … Read more