Her husband had passed on, and the new widow was so distraught that she sought out a spiritualist who told her that her husband was just fine. She added further that he was eagerly awaiting a reunion with her. “Is there anything he needs?” the distraught woman asked, between tears. The spiritualist went into a … Read more
A lawyer is heading home in his limousine when he sees a group of people on the side of the highway. He tells the chauffeur to stop the car, goes over to them, and asks what they’re doing. A man says, “We’re poor, homeless, and starving. If we don’t eat this grass we’ll die of … Read more
There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and –WHACK!!– knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. The great big dude says, “That was a karate chop from Korea.” The little guy gets back … Read more
Moses, Jesus, and an old guy are playing golf. They come to a hole with a big river running through it. Moses tees off, and the ball lands in the water. He grabs his club, holds it up, and parts the water. He walks down to the water and chips it out. Jesus is next. … Read more
Coach Walker enters the locker room and eyes one of his players. “Son, I hate to do this to you. I realize that you’re the star of the team, but you’re failing your classes and I can’t let you play.” “Give me a break, coach!” pleads the jock. “I’ll tell you what – I’ll ask … Read more
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage. The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor because attached to the back of the carriage was a hand-printed sign: “Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on oats and grass. Caution: Do not step on exhaust.”
It was the end of the school year. The teacher had turned in her grades; there was nothing really for the class to do. All the kids were restless and it was near the end of the day. So the teacher thought of an activity. She said, “The first ones to answer correctly the questions … Read more
A couple married forty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here forty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. His … Read more
Two rednecks, Bubba and Earl, were driving down the road drinking alcohol when all of a sudden, the passenger, Bubba, said, “Lookey thar up ahead, Earl. It’s a po-lice roadblock!! We’re gonna get busted fer drinkin’ these here beers!!” “Don’t worry, Bubba,” Earl said. “We’ll just pull over and finish drinkin’ these beers, peel off … Read more
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office. He was furious and said, “Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!” “Yes, Sir, Mr. President,” the interior decorator replied, “I’ll take those mirrors out … Read more