Two programmers walked along the street. They saw a beautiful blonde not far away and one of them said, “Too bad that girl has no standard interface.” “They have,” replied the other programmer, “but there is no standard way to get to it.”
A new business was opening, and one of the owner’s friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site, and the owner read the card, “Rest in Peace.” The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake … Read more
Bill & Hillary Clinton host a large bipartisan dinner party in their personal residence quarters at the White House, including a number of current and former members of Congress, former Presidents Carter, Ford, and Bush, along with former Vice Presidents Mondale and Quayle. After the introductory speeches during dinner, Vice President Dan Quayle excused himself … Read more
Top Ten Reasons Why It’s Great To Be A Dog: 1. If it itches, you can reach it. And no matter where it itches, no one will be offended if you scratch it in public. 2. No one notices if you have hair growing in weird places as you get older. 3. Personal hygiene is … Read more
In the men’s room at work, the Boss had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it — “Think!” The next day, when he went to the men’s room, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which … Read more
The professors of mathematics and physics were staring at the flagpole in front of the college building. The professor of English, walking by, asked, “What seems to be the problem?” “We were wondering how to measure the height of this flagpole,” said the professor of mathematics. The professor of English quickly unscrewed the pole from … Read more
DOS: Defective Operating System. WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System. MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realise Our Software Only Frustrates Teenagers. ISDN: It Still Does Nothing. MACINTOSH: Machine Always Crashes. If Not, The Operating System Hangs.
Two church members were going door to door and knocked on the door of a woman who was not happy to see them. She told them in no uncertain terms that she did not want to hear their message and slammed the door in their faces. To her surprise, however, the door did not close … Read more
An attorney was on his deathbed in the hospital. When a friend came to visit, he found the lawyer frantically leafing through the Bible. “What are you doing?” the visitor asked. The sick lawyer replied, “Looking for loopholes.”
The professors of mathematics and physics were staring at the flag pole in front of the college building. The professor of English, walking by, asked, “What seems to be the problem?” “We were wondering how to measure the height of this flag pole,” said the professor of mathematics. The professor of English quickly unscrewed the … Read more