A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes … Read more
A fellow walks into a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender if he’d like to hear a good Notre Dame joke. “Listen buddy,” he growled. “See those 2 big guys on your left? They were both linemen on the Notre Dame football team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class … Read more
A Swede, a Norwegian, and a Dane are caught in a snowstorm on the side of a mountain. They stumble across a cave and decide to take shelter. On entering, they are greeted by an awful stench which, on inspection, turns out to come from a half-dead goat that has taken refuge in the cave. … Read more
During the “rush hour” at Houston’s Hobby Airport, a flight was delayed due to a mechanical problem. Since they needed the gate for another flight, the aircraft was backed away from the gate while the maintenance crew worked on it. They were then told the new gate number, which was some distance away. Everyone moved … Read more
A phone company puts an ad in the paper that they are recruiting workers. The next day, two groups of workers show up: a crew of five Italian men and a crew of five blonde women. The company cannot decide whom to give the job to, so they give them a test. The company boss … Read more
When I was still a newlywed, I was invited out for a night with “the boys.” Being naive about these things at the time, I promised my wife that I would be home by midnight. Well, you know how these things go; the yarns were being spun and the drinks were going down easy, and … Read more
A man is a person who, if a woman says, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” lets her. A woman is a person who, if she says to a man, “Never mind, I’ll do it myself,” and he lets her, gets mad. A man is a person who, if a woman says to him, “Never … Read more
A out-of-towner in New York decided to re-visit a fine uptown restaurant he’d enjoyed on a previous trip to the city. Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he began, “Hey, you know, it’s been over five years since I first came in here…” “You’ll have to wait your turn, sir,” replied the harried … Read more
Two social workers were walking through a rough part of the city in the evening. They heard moans and muted cries for help from a back lane. Upon investigation, they found a semi-conscious man in a pool of blood. “Help me, I’ve been mugged and viciously beaten,” he pleaded. The two social workers turned and … Read more
Two nuns went out of the convent to sell cookies. One was Sister Mathematical (SM) and the other was Sister Logical (SL). It is getting dark and they are still far from the convent. SL: Do you notice a man’s been following us? SM: Yes, I wonder what he wants. SL: It’s logical. He wants … Read more