Two men held up a bank. They cleaned out the cash drawers and then herded the tellers and clerks into the vault. They were getting ready to make their getaway when one of the tellers whispered, “Hey, buddy, would you do me a favor?” One of the robbers said, “What’s on your mind, pal?” “Would … Read more
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, “Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?” The guard replies, “They are 3 million, four years, and six months old.” “That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you … Read more
One fine day, a bus driver went to the bus garage, started his bus, and drove off along the route. No problems for the first few stops, a few people got on, a few got off, and things went generally well. At the next stop, however, a big hulk of a guy got on. Six … Read more
A man went to apply for a job. After filling out all of his applications, he waited anxiously for the outcome. The employer read all his applications and said, “We have an opening for people like you.” “Oh, great,” the man said, “What is it?” “It’s called the door!”
Math Through the Ages Teaching Math in 1950: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit? Teaching Math in 1960: A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What … Read more
Top 13 best things to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk: 13. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.” 12. “This is just a 15-minute power-nap that they raved about in the last time management course you sent me to.” 11. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the … Read more
The young reporter covering Israeli politics took an apartment within sight of the Wailing Wall. Each day she would watch the faithful pray. One rabbi in particular stood out, so fervent were his prayers. One evening she approached him. “Rabbi, I’m a reporter from America. From my window, each day, I see you pray in … Read more
Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing. One old lady turns to the other and asks, “Do you still get horny?” The other replies, “Oh, sure I do.” The first old lady asks, “What do you do about it?” The second old lady replies, “I suck a lifesaver.” After a few … Read more
A young military jet pilot, flying a single-engine F-16 American fighter, was escorting a B-52 and generally being a nuisance, acting like a hotdog by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber. The hotdog picked up his microphone and transmitted, “Anything you can do, I can do better.” The veteran bomber pilot answered, “Try this, … Read more
A US Commerce Department employee sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what’s in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. “This will look nice on my mantelpiece,” he decides, and takes it home with him. While polishing the lamp, a genie … Read more