A man was strolling along the Beaches area in East Toronto when he spotted a bottle floating in Lake Ontario. The bottle drifted ashore. He picked up the bottle and opened it, and out popped a Genie. “Master, Master you have released me from my bondage in this bottle, ask any three wishes and I … Read more
Joe, the Governor’s most trusted assistant, died in his sleep one night. The Governor had depended on Joe for advice on every subject, from pending bills to wardrobe decisions. In addition, Joe had been his closest friend. So, it was understandable that the Governor didn’t take kindly to the droves of ambitious office seekers who … Read more
The boss called in his star salesman and said, “I notice on your last expense report you entered ‘$50 for women.’ I don’t really mind you having a good time and entertaining our clients, but you should be more discreet. From now on, list those expenses as being for hunting.” After that, the salesman’s expense … Read more
There’s a true story about a convicted con man who was recently found to be impersonating a lawyer in New York City. The judge remarked, “I should have suspected he wasn’t a lawyer. He was always so punctual and polite.”
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling tales about himself in which he was the laughing-stock. Here is one of those stories. As he tells it, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he put … Read more
A photographer, who was also a confirmed atheist, decided to go into the woods to get photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day – fall colors, birds chirping, babbling brook, and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the atheist heard a noise behind him and whirled around to see … Read more
The Hunchback of Notre Dame dies, so they need to find a new bell-ringer. This guy with no arms comes along and says he can do it. “But you’ve got no arms!” everyone explains. He says, “I’ll use my mouth.” So he uses his mouth to ring the bell and goes flying out of the … Read more
“Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old. “You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!” “Ah, that’s nothin’,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy, you can’t even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet … Read more
Three rednecks, Bubba, Earl, and Jeb, were stumbling home late one night and found themselves on the road that led past the old graveyard. “Come have a look over here,” says Bubba, “It’s Zeb Jones’ grave, God bless his soul, he lived to the ripe old age of 87.” “That’s nothing,” says Earl, “here’s one … Read more
Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them. The beech says to the birch: “Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?” The birch says he cannot tell. Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The … Read more