1. Calculate the smallest limb diameter on a persimmon tree that will support a 10-pound possum. 2. Which of the following cars will rust out the quickest when placed on blocks in your front yard? A. ’66 Ford Fairlane B. ’69 Chevrolet Chevelle C. ’64 Pontiac GTO 3. If your uncle builds a still that … Read more
There was an English man, Irish man, and a Scottish man who all wanted to get into the RAF. So the English man went up to the Sergeant and asked him how to get in the RAF. The Sergeant told him he had to blow up a building without anyone seeing him. That night, he … Read more
A middle-aged man, about 5 feet 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmart and asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it. When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist. The pharmacist comes, and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, “Do you sell Viagra here?” The pharmacist answers firmly, … Read more
Sure, here is the corrected version: A chicken and an egg check into a cheap motel room. Moments later, the chicken sits up against the headboard and lights a cigarette. The egg says, “Well, that settles that.”
A lawyer returns to his parked BMW to find the headlights broken and considerable damage to the bonnet. There’s no sign of the offending vehicle, but he’s relieved to see that there’s a note stuck under the windshield wiper. “Sorry. I just backed into your Beemer. The witnesses who saw the accident are nodding and … Read more
This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was an important job to be done, and Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did. Somebody got angry about this because it was Everybody’s job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it, but … Read more
Three men were walking home to their house one summer. They all lived right next to each other. All three of them had a large swimming pool. They were just getting ready to dive into the pool when a genie popped out in front of them. “It’s your lucky day!” said the genie. “Just jump … Read more
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of the world-famous detective Sherlock Holmes, was not above telling self-deprecating tales. In one situation, he was waiting at a taxi stand outside the railway station in Paris. When a taxi pulled up, he placed his suitcase in the car and took a seat next to it. “Where can … Read more
This is the best lawyer story of the year, decade, and probably the century. A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month of having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his … Read more
A Fishy Tale Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea – one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, “I’m bored and frustrated at … Read more