A guy goes into a costume shop. He says, “I’m going to a Halloween party, and I want to go as Adam.” The girl brings out a fig leaf. But he says, “Not big enough!” So she brings out a bigger one. “Still not big enough!” So she brings out a HUGE fig leaf. “Still … Read more
A man with a bald head and a wooden leg gets invited to a fancy costume party. He doesn’t know what costume to wear to hide his head and his leg…so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain the problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: “Dear Sir, … Read more
Once upon a time, Hercules, Snow White, and Quasimodo were talking over a picnic lunch. Hercules said, “You know, everyone says I’m the strongest mortal on earth, but I don’t know how to prove it. That bothers me a lot.” Snow White said, “You’re right! Everyone says I’m the fairest, but how can I be … Read more
1. Only in Canada… can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in Canada… are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in Canada… do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy … Read more
Three friends were backpacking through Europe and found out about a magical mountain near the coast, so they decided to check it out. When they finally reached the top of the mountain, they saw a man jump straight off the edge and screamed that he wanted to be an eagle. Then poof, he turned into … Read more
GHOST POOPIE: The kind where you feel the poopie come out, but there is no poopie in the toilet. CLEAN POOPIE: The kind where you poopie it out, see it in the toilet, but there is nothing on the toilet paper. WET POOPIE: The kind where you wipe your butt 50 times and it still … Read more
Subject: Health Food With today’s adults looking for a healthier lifestyle, food and stress are very important to them. We will look first at what food can be added to our diet that will help relieve stress. The food in question is chocolate. This overlooked food is considered unhealthy, but let’s take a look. Chocolate … Read more
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?” The crow answered: “Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a … Read more
Three older ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on … Read more
One morning, a Black guy, a Jewish guy, a Mexican, and a regular white guy were sitting on a bench waiting for the bus. While stretching his legs, the Black guy accidentally kicks an old lamp that was laying on the sidewalk. Suddenly they were enveloped in smoke and from it emerged a huge genie. … Read more