A Jewish man and a Chinese man were conversing. The Jewish man commented upon what a wise people the Chinese are. “Yes,” replied the Chinese, “Our culture is over 4,000 years old. But, you Jews are a very wise people, too.” The Jewish man replied, “Yes, our culture is over 5,000 years old.” The Chinese … Read more
Three men are traveling in the Amazon: a Canadian, an American, and a Mexican. They get captured by a fierce tribe of Amazons. The tribe leader tells them they will be whipped for entering their territory. The tribe chief says to the Canadian, “What do you want on your back for your whipping?” The Canadian … Read more
John was a clerk in a small drugstore, but he was not much of a salesman. He could never find the item the customer wanted. Bob, the owner, had had enough and warned John that the next sale he missed would be his last. Just then, a man came in coughing and asked John for … Read more
A man charged with assault and battery insisted at his trial that he had just pushed his victim “a little bit”. When he was pressured by the prosecutor to illustrate just how hard, the defendant approached the lawyer, slapped him in the face, grabbed him firmly by the lapels, and flung him over the table. … Read more
An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. “Aaah!” he said. “We’re right over my homeland.” “How can you tell?” asked the American. “I can feel the cold air,” he replied. … Read more
Two tigers were stalking through the jungles of Asia. Suddenly, the one to the rear reached out with his tongue and licked the posterior of the tiger in front of him. The startled front tiger turned and said, “Cut it out.” The rear tiger apologized, and they continued onward. About five minutes later, it happened … Read more
Three men, one German, one Japanese, and a Texan, were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly, there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm, and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. “That was my pager,” he said, “I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.” A few minutes … Read more
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and parked himself on the roof of the cave to get some sleep. Pretty soon all the other bats smelt the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He told them to go away and let him get some … Read more
Two guys get busted for smoking dope, so they have to go into court on a Friday. They go to court, and the judge says, “If you can convince more than 5 people to stop doing drugs for the rest of their lives, you won’t be sent to jail.” So the two men agree, and … Read more
Ben and Haley had gotten up in years, and their memories weren’t quite what they used to be. They found it beneficial to write things down so as not to forget them. One evening they were sitting in the parlor and Haley said, “Ben, be a dear and go to the kitchen and fix me … Read more