President Clinton was in Baghdad talking about the peace accords. Clinton noticed there were 3 buttons on Saddam’s chair. He didn’t think anything of it at the time. After a few minutes Saddam pressed the first button. Immediately a box popped out in front of Clinton and a boxing glove popped up and punched Clinton … Read more
A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. ‘So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?’ The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, ‘Ehhhh .. 22!’ The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. ‘And can … Read more
“Mr. Clark, I’m afraid I have bad news,” the doctor told his anxious patient. “You only have six months to live.” The man sat in stunned silence for the next several minutes. Regaining his composure, he apologetically told his physician that he had no medical insurance. “I can’t possibly pay you in that time.” “Okay,” … Read more
The Post Office briefly considered issuing stamps with Bill and Hillary’s faces on them. However, test marketing verified that customers would spit on the wrong side of the stamps.
A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.” The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had … Read more
An American and a North Korean are bragging about their countries. The American says, “In my country, our technology is so good that we know who will win an election two hours before the polls close!” The North Korean doesn’t blink and says, “Well, in my country, we know who will win two years before … Read more
A man hasn’t been feeling well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. Afterward, the doctor comes out with the results. “I’m afraid I have some very bad news,” the doctor says. “You’re dying, and you don’t have much time left.” “Oh, that’s terrible!” says the man. “How long have I got?” … Read more
A man went to an eye specialist to get his eyes tested and asked, “Doctor, will I be able to read after wearing glasses?” “Yes, of course,” said the doctor, “why not!” “Oh! How nice it would be,” said the patient with joy, “I’ve been illiterate for so long.”
Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!” The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders, and then exchanged sandwiches.
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him. When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, “It’s all right, I’ve had … Read more