Merv was in a terrible accident at work. He fell through a floor tile and ripped off both of his ears. Since he was permanently disfigured, he settled with the company for a rather large sum of money and went on his way. One day, Merv decided to invest his money in a small, but … Read more
There’s this English couple, Irish couple, and Scottish couple playing golf. The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded. “Well, you … Read more
Three friends – two straight guys and a gay guy – and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter. First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his … Read more
“How can I ever thank you?” gushed a woman to Clarence Darrow after he had solved her legal troubles. “My dear woman,” Darrow replied, “ever since the Phoenicians invented money, there has been only one answer to that question.”
I was attending church as a visitor several weeks ago and heard the following: “I have good news, and I have bad news. First, the bad news: we need a new roof. Next, the good news: we have the money to pay for it!” (waits for pleased murmurs to recede) “Next, more bad news: the … Read more
A mine owner is looking for new workers to perform necessary jobs, so he advertised and three individuals turned up. One is a big muscular Irish guy, the other is an Italian guy, and the last one is Japanese. The owner tells the Irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because … Read more
A big-city counterfeiter decided the best place to pass off his phony $18 bills would be in some small hick Southern town. So, he got into his new wheels and off he went. He found a tiny town with a single store. He entered the store and handed one of the bogus bills to the … Read more
A rather strange guy walked into a shoe store wanting to buy some new alligator shoes. The clerk quoted a price of $250.00. The guy replied, “This is an outrage. There is no way I will pay that kind of money for a pair of shoes. I can shoot an alligator and get shoes for … Read more
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the roadside. He ordered his driver to stop, and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?” he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “Oh, … Read more
A mine owner is looking for new workers to perform necessary jobs, so he advertised and three guys turned up. One is a big muscular Irish guy, the other is an Italian guy, and the last one is Japanese. The owner tells the Irish guy that he will be in charge of the mining because … Read more