Three men – a project manager, a software engineer, and a hardware engineer – are in Ft. Lauderdale for a two-week period helping out on a project. About midweek, they decide to walk up and down the beach during their lunch hour. Halfway up the beach, they stumbled upon a lamp. As they rub the … Read more
The plumber presented his customer, a lawyer, with a bill charging rates of $500 an hour. The lawyer was outraged, saying, “I don’t even make that kind of money – doesn’t that seem a bit steep?” The plumber replied, “That’s what I thought when I was a lawyer.”
There were two men who played golf together frequently. One was several strokes better than the other. The lesser player was very proud and never wanted to take any strokes to even up the game. One Saturday morning, he shows up with a gorilla at the first tee. He says to his friend, “I’ve been … Read more
A lawyer and an engineer were fishing in the Caribbean. The lawyer said, “I’m here because my house burned down, and all I owned was destroyed by the fire. The insurance company paid for everything and I’m using some of the insurance money for this trip.” “That’s quite a coincidence,” said the engineer. “I’m here … Read more
The plumber presented his customer, a lawyer, with a bill charging rates of $500 an hour. The lawyer was outraged, saying, “I don’t even make that kind of money – doesn’t that seem a bit steep?” The plumber replied, “That’s what I thought when I was a lawyer.”
A Martian landed in the country. He went up to a farmhouse and knocked on the door. He told the farmer he would give him $1,000,000 for his flock of sheep. The farmer said, “O.K.” The Martian pulled a tiny sheep out of his pocket, and it ate all the sheep. The Martian then offered … Read more
A man takes the day off work and decides to go out golfing. He is on the second hole when he notices a frog sitting next to the green. He thinks nothing of it and is about to shoot when he hears, “Ribbit 9 Iron.” The man looks around and doesn’t see anyone. Again, he … Read more
A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. “Look,” said the customer, “I have no arms – would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?” “Sure,” said the bartender, and he did. “Now,” said the customer, … Read more
A lady is having a bad day at the tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, “What rotten luck! What in the world should I do now?” A gent next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, “I don’t know… Why don’t you play your age?” … Read more
The Washington Post’s “Style Invitational” asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are some recent winners: – Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly. – Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of obtaining sex. – … Read more