A fellow finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St. Peter explains that it’s not so easy to get into heaven. There are some criteria before entry is allowed. For example, was the man religious in life? Did he attend church? No? St. Peter told him that’s bad. Was he generous? Did he give … Read more
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the … Read more
John was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, “Is there a problem, Officer?” “No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a $5,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you’re going to do with … Read more
A very rich man had his pool filled with piranhas. Later on that day, he threw a party and invited anyone who wanted to attend. He said he’d give any man $10,000 if he dares to swim from one end to the other. No one took the offer. “Ok, I’ll give any man $10,000 and … Read more
An armless man walked into a bar which is empty except for the bartender. He ordered a drink and when he was served, asked the bartender if he would get the money from his wallet in his pocket, since he has no arms. The bartender obliged him. He then asked if the bartender would tip … Read more
The World’s Shortest Books – “My Plan To Find The Real Killers” by O.J. Simpson – The Difference between Reality and Dilbert – Human Rights Advances in China – “Things I Wouldn’t Do for Money” by Dennis Rodman – Al Gore: The Wild Years – Amelia Earhart’s Guide to the Pacific Ocean – America’s Most … Read more
Three Scots and three Englishmen are traveling by train to a football match. At the station, the three Englishmen each buy tickets and watch as the three Scots buy only a single ticket. “How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asked one of the three Englishmen. “Watch and you’ll see,” answers … Read more
One day, down in the mystical forest, a magical frog was hopping towards a water hole. The forest was so enormous that the frog had never laid eyes on another animal before. But today, by chance, a bear was chasing after a rabbit to have for dinner. The frog called for the two to stop … Read more
A limousine had encountered a red traffic light and was waiting for it to change when a small mini also drove up. The haughty businessman in the back of the limousine started bragging to the mini owner. “This is the best limo that money can buy. It has ABS, airbags for all passengers, automatic climate … Read more
A man with no arms walked into a bar and asked for a beer. The bartender shoved the foaming glass in front of him. “Look,” said the customer, “I have no arms – would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?” “Sure,” said the bartender, and he did. “Now,” said the customer, “I … Read more