The CEO of a Vacuum Cleaner company was impatient with the poor job his salespeople were doing, so one day he decided to do the job himself. “After all!” he thought. “I AM the CEO!” He pulled up to a very old house in his Mercedes Benz and knocked on the door. A little old … Read more
A fellow had just been hired as the new CEO of a large high-tech corporation. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run up against a problem you don’t think you can solve,” he said. Well, things went along pretty smoothly, … Read more
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?” asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. “Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The cyclist did as he was told, … Read more
Things you’d really like to say at work: 1. I can see your point, but you’re still full of crap. 2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. 3. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 4. I’ll try being nicer if … Read more
Disgusted by what he has seen on Earth, God decides to destroy it and start over. He orders one of His angels to appear at the offices of four of America’s leading newspapers: the Wall Street Journal, the SF Chronicle, the Washington Post, and the New York Times, in order to give them the scoop … Read more
An accountant spends a week at his new office with the accountant he is replacing. On the last day, the departing accountant tells him that he has left two envelopes in the desk drawer. Envelope number 1 should be opened if he ever encounters any sort of crisis in the job, and envelope number 2 … Read more
“So tell me, Mrs. Jones,” asked the interviewer, “do you have any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?” “Well, actually, yes,” said the applicant modestly. “Last year I had two short stories published in national magazines, and I also finished my novel.” “Very impressive,” commented the interviewer, “but I was thinking of skills … Read more
A guy goes to the Post Office to interview for a job. The interviewer asks him, “Are you a veteran?” The guy says, “Why yes, in fact, I served two tours in Vietnam.” “Good,” says the interviewer, “That counts in your favor. Do you have any service-related disabilities?” The guy says, “In fact I am … Read more
A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all those clocks?” St. Peter answered, “Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your … Read more
Two bone-weary public servants were working their hearts and souls out in a department that was too busy for staff to take flex. But there had to be a way… One of the two public servants suddenly lifted his head. “I know how to get some time off work,” the man whispered. “How?” asked the … Read more