A party of Democrats was climbing in the Alps. After several hours, they became hopelessly lost. One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun. Finally, he said, ‘OK, see that big mountain over there?’ ‘Yes,’ answered the others … Read more
One day, there were three surgeons who were arguing loudly over who was the best surgeon. “Oh yeah,” the first one yells. “One day there was this guy who came in with all his fingers cut off. I sewed them back onto his hand, and he’s playing piano for the queen of England!” “Oh, that’s … Read more
An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a Democrat. Get me a change of registration form.” “You can do it,” the lawyer said, “But why? You’ll be dead soon, why do you want to become a Democrat?” “That’s my business! Get me the … Read more
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed … Read more
Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton were at a Yankees game. Before the game began, a Secret Service man came up to him and whispered something in his ear. Bill Clinton suddenly picked up Hillary and threw her out on the field. The Secret Service man came running up to him and said, “Mr. President, … Read more
Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, “You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?” Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, “Could I have a blackboard and … Read more
One day President Bush was visiting Queen Elizabeth, and she decided to take him for a tour of London in the Royal Carriage. The carriage was being pulled by six Royal Stallions, and one of them suddenly passed gas. It sounded like a 21-gun salute it was so loud! The smell permeated the inside of … Read more
“Daddy,” a little girl asked her father, “do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time’?” “No, sweetheart,” he answered. “Some begin with ‘If I am elected.’”
Bill and Hillary Clinton went out to dinner. When the waiter came to take their order, he asked Bill how he wanted his steak. Bill replied, “medium.” Then the waiter said, “How about your vegetable?” Bill replied, “Oh, she can order for herself.”