There was a Minister whose wife was expecting a baby. The Minister went to the congregation and asked for a raise. After much consideration and discussion, they passed a rule that when the Minister’s family expanded, so would his paycheck. After five or six children, this started to get expensive. The congregation decided to hold … Read more
A visiting minister waxed eloquent during the offertory prayer. He began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “Without you we are but dust…” He would have continued, but at that moment my very obedient daughter (who was listening!) leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her … Read more
A married man goes to confession and says to the priest, “Father, I had an affair with a woman… almost.” “What do you mean almost?” questions the priest. “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.” “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in,” explains the priest. “You’re not to go … Read more
A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man’s tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes, the … Read more
Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an … Read more
An Irish priest loved to fly fish; it was an obsession of his. So far this year, the weather had been so bad that he hadn’t had a chance to get his beloved waders on and his favorite flies out of their box. Strangely, though, every Sunday the weather had been good, but of course, … Read more
The day finally arrived: Forrest Gump dies and goes to Heaven. He is met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter himself. The gates are closed, however, and Forrest approaches the gatekeeper. Saint Peter says, “Well, Forrest, it’s certainly good to see you. We have heard a lot about you. I must inform you that … Read more
About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Jews had to leave Rome. Naturally, there was a big uproar from the Jewish community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Jewish community. If the Jew won, the Jews could stay. If … Read more
In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whatever went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had had a hand in it. Their parents were at their wit’s end trying to control them. Hearing about a priest nearby who worked with delinquent boys, … Read more
A truck driver was driving down the highway when he saw a priest at the side of the road. He stopped to pick up the priest and give him a ride. A ways down the road, the truck driver saw a lawyer on the side of the road. He turned the truck on a direct … Read more