After many years, a young Jewish Talmud student who had left the old country for America returns to visit the family. “But–where is your beard?” asks his mother upon seeing him. “Mama,” he replies, “in America, nobody wears a beard.” “But at least you keep the Sabbath?” “Mama, business is business. In America, everybody works … Read more
One morning, a man came into the church on crutches. He stopped in front of the holy water, put some on both legs, and then threw away his crutches. An altar boy witnessed the scene and then ran into the rectory to tell the priest what he had just seen. “Son, you’ve just witnessed a … Read more
A middle-aged woman has a heart attack and is taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she has a near-death experience. During that experience, she sees her guardian angel and asks if this is her time. The angel says no and explains that she has another 30-40 years to live. Upon her recovery, … Read more
Some favorite messages spotted on church signs or billboards, submitted by Beliefnet members: – Fire Insurance Inside – This Church Is Prayer Conditioned – God Answers Knee Mail – PRAY NOW! Avoid Christmas Rush! – Sign broken, come inside for message – This is a ch–ch. What’s missing? U R! – Regis isn’t the only … Read more
It rained for days and days and there was a terrific flood. The water rose so high that one man was forced to climb on top of his roof and sat in the rain. As the waters came up higher, a man in a rowboat came up to the house and told him to get … Read more
One day Jesus was out for a walk, strolling near the walls surrounding heaven, when he heard an old man’s voice call from the other side. “Hello? Hello?” Jesus replied, “Who is it?” “Just a poor, old carpenter searching for his son,” the old man replied. Jesus’ heart leapt with joy and he called out, … Read more
After a few days, the Lord called to Adam and said, “It is time for you and Eve to begin the process of populating the earth, so I want you to kiss her.” Adam answered, “Yes, Lord, but what is a ‘kiss’?” The Lord gave a brief description to Adam, who then took Eve by … Read more
Bholaji finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust, and he’s in serious financial trouble. He’s so desperate that he decides to ask Bhagwan for help. He goes into the temple and begins to pray. “Oh Bhagwan, please help me, I’ve lost my business and if I don’t get some money, I’m going … Read more
Three pastors from the South were having lunch in a diner. One said, “Ya know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything – noise, spray, cats – nothing seems to scare them away.” Another said, “Yea, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in … Read more
An engineer died and ended up in Hell. He was not pleased with the level of comfort in Hell and began to redesign and build improvements. After a while, they had toilets that flush, air conditioning, and escalators. Everyone grew very fond of him. One day God called to Satan to mock him, “So, how’s … Read more